While we all hope our marriage will last forever, one-third of marriages end in divorce, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics.
“Difficult tasks will always happen – a partner can get sick, get sacked or have to take care of a dying parent,” says psychologist Meredith Fuller, explaining that every union will have a happy and difficult time. A lasting marriage requires commitment, good communication and a good dose of love and affection. Try these seven tips for a happy marriage:
Create your own rituals
It could be as simple as making a coffee to your husband in the morning while he lets you lie down on weekends. Whatever you choose, a “couple” ritual is a way to connect with your partner in the madness of a busy life. “The comfort of small rituals is based on trust, maintaining safety, and improving love – these things help us through the day in the outside world,” says Meredith. “If your partner tells you that he loves you and demonstrates that with consistent gestures, you can believe it.”
Learn to communicate
If you or your husband is a poor communicator, do not just accept, says Meredith, being able to talk openly with your partner is a sign of a strong marriage. “Develop your skills – go to class, read books, watch good communicators and ask questions about the technique, ask for feedback, practice,” she advises. “Communication skills improve all areas of your life – at home and at work. Crack – no excuse.
We usually treat money in the same way as our family and often assume that our way of doing things is the best. This is not the case, says Meredith, who advises discussing your point of view about paying bills, savings and credit cards before you link. “You have to find the new way you are going to do things together. It’s easy to have an important common account in which you have to tell yourself what you are doing, and a minor private account on which you can be yourself without having to justify what you are spending.
Respect and affection are breaking factors
Small gestures are important – if you want your marriage to last, remember that you love each other and nurture your relationship with kind words. “You have to treat yourself with caution – not for granted,” says Meredith. “Some people say” I love you “, and some people will show” I love you “- make sure your partner understands your message and define what you both need, then try to adapt to each other.”
Adultery and jealousy are different things
It does not matter how difficult a wedding can be at times, and even though having an affair can be exciting, almost everyone involved – including children – is destined to be hurt. “Either you are in or out – never humiliate your partner with duplicity,” says Meredith. “On the other hand, if your partner is jealous and there is no reason for it, tear it in the bud. It’s not cute or sweet, it’s inappropriate and can lead to violence. Acquire help. See an advisor and explore the past and work on it.
Make room for sex
If you and your husband’s libidos are equal, do not worry if sexual relations take precedence over children. If you want more nookie than the other, Meredith advises to make room for sex in a busy schedule. “It can mean getting enough rest and sleep the night before, canceling any other commitments, getting kids interested, turning off your phones and computers, and doing great things,” she says. “Think about what the other wants, not just what you want to give. So, ask them, take turns and take your time. She adds that it is perfectly normal for sex to drop from the menu when children enter the mix. “Sometimes you just have to stay there because one of you is tired of a dog. It will not be terrible forever – but if the drought lasts too long, ask for help.
Put your marriage first
Meredith adds that having a happy marriage means being ready to follow the stages of life. “You can always work towards your goals, but maybe they will take longer to do that, because now you choose to help your husband study for a postgraduate course, or to delay his move so that he can take care of his elderly father. ” For those who are bored with their partner, she says that the pace is slow and steady, beats the ups and downs of an anxious passion at any time. “There are two aspects that bring long-term lovers together: like and respect.”
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